HOLY SHIT I'M GOING TO HAVE TWO KIDS IN APPROX. TEN DAYS. This thought is going to keep me from sleeping at all in those aforementioned ten days. Really. It's freaking me out (a little). I know I can handle it, I'll just do what comes naturally. Do you think that reassurance is making me feel better? HELL NO. Sorry guys....Mother, if you say it one more time I'll knock your block off, you've been tempting fate anywhoo.
Actually, now that I think about it I have a few things I'd like to say to that broad....
*I appreciate the HELL out of the help you've been giving me the last week. Taking me to the hospital to sob about how much pain I'm in, while I told you NOT to come with me, was nice. I would have liked to expose my shameful baby whining in private. I knew they wouldn't induce me, but it didn't stop me from trying.
*I love the fact that you took your GRANDSON overnight to help me because I'm being shitty mom and can't function. I know...I know....it's not *my fault* but I feel like it is. I'm in pain, and I should be able to handle said pain a lot better, it's only going to get worse. I mean, there IS a baby coming out of my vagina, and it aint gonna be pleasant. Next time you keep him, please keep gimpy puppy and your damn asshole cat out of the bed for the night. Were still trying to get his allergies under control.
*If you tell me "That baby will come when she's ready" one more fucking time I'm going to kill you. In fact, I had a dream last night that I did, and it was awful. Don't make me do it, because it will upset me.
*When I come home from my appt. next week and tell you they're inducing me that night/next morning you better say NOTHING negative. I will be 39 weeks pregnant, I am not fucking rushing her. I am in a lot of pain thanks to her and my FIRST baby is suffering for it. I can no longer cook (like I'm used to) or just get up to do stuff for him without extreme pain. Welcome to motherhood (I know) but if I can get this baby OUTSIDE OF MY BODY I can start to heal NOW instead of in 3 weeks when they induce me for being overdue and not progressing.
*I can't say it enough, DO NOT GIVE ME ANY MORE LIP ABOUT RUSHING HER OUT. This is my body, my life. As I recall you were the one who GUILTED me into keeping this pregnancy (although I'm 90% sure I didn't have the balls to do anything about it anyway, that's not the point.) so you get to deal with the consequences until it's time for the nitty gritty. I will not be one of those young mothers you expected me to be the first time, you know that. I don't slack on my responsibility, you just like to forget how great a job I did with The Boy. Next time you cop an attitude I'll just hand you a newborn and tell you to deal with it. You wanted the damn baby so bad, YOU raise her!
*Allright, so I won't go that far....but STILL. You're making my life hell making me feel like a shit tastic person for needing this to be over with on MY terms if she doesn't get here by Monday. To be completely honest I'll be a lot more relaxed going into this knowing that I am in some form of control. After the last time I deserve it. My poor son suffered for my lack of a voice or opinion so this time, it's on MY terms.
That's all for now....my foots falling asleep and it's probably 3859745 degrees in this apartment and I'm sweating balls. Yes....balls. Plus, I just d/l a movie and it finished converting so I can go lie down and watch it!