The Catalyst

 My Baby Girl is my personal catalyst. She's my life changer. With The Boy, and his various needs, it was so easy to slip back into what I was doing before. NOTHING. Now, now it's time for a change, I'm finally motivated. I'm going to get my gym membership tomorrow or Saturday morning, haven't decided. I'm looking into schools as we speak, and I have a end date in sight for registering. I can't put The Girl in day care because of her med schedule and the apnea monitor, so it's online schooling for my Gen-Ed courses, then a transfer to a phsyical university afterwards. I'm scared. It's something that needs done though. I want to set a good example for these kids. I quit smoking, so that they wouldn't grow up seeing that and assuming it's just ok. It's not, it's disgusting, and I"m glad to be done with it, even though I do miss it. I suppose I will forever, but that's alright. I know I've made it this long, so why waste that time and effort?

 The Girl has been doing better this last week. I decided to take her OFF the one med to see how she reacted, because it doesn't seem to do much. Well, I was right, she doesn't need it, as far as I can tell. But this amazing thing happened when I decided to d/c it. SHE WOKE UP. It was awesome. For the first time in 5 weeks she is alert, responsive, eyes open, happy content little baby. Don't get me wrong, a tired baby is pretty easy to deal with, but I wanted to see her personality, who she is. Now, I'm seeing it. It demands constant entertainment when she's awake!!! But I don't mind. I have a Fauxby wrap that I made the other night, and we just do everything together. Fine by me. She's starting to interact with her surroundings, batting at things, and being AMAZED when they make noise or do something. She's trying to talk to me, and trying to smile. I got one little squeaker of a smile yesterday. No, scratch that. The MIRROR did! Rotten child.